The hip hap

In my defense, my lack of blogging can be directly blamed on my lack of time. Before quitting the doughnut shop, I was working literally seven days a week. The good ol’ days of blogging happened back when I had no job, no real worries about school, and an abundance of time. I am amazed that people with full time jobs ever find the time to jot down their thoughts.

So, what’s the scuttle bud (other than that obscure Office reference)? I am playing piano…a lot. I went on a poker spree for a few weeks and was able to afford a Yamaha CP-33 plus a stand. The keyboard is brand new at $1200 online. The specific one I got was brand new but got a one inch scratch during shipping to the store I bought it from, making it $800. Since moving out of my parents house I have become a bit of a piano scavenger until this purchase. The keyboard was shipped way too well. It was surrounded by 3” thick plastic armor bubble wrap and submerged into a box with thousands of packing peanuts. After trying to delicately and slowly take the packing peanuts out and put them into a trash bag, I got impatient and dumped them all on the floor. It took me about forty-five minutes to clean the mess up. There is still evidence of that evening on my floor. I have a new fascination with jazz. The library has a thirteen volume DVD series on the history of jazz at the library that I have slowly been making my way through. NPR plays jazz at night, adding more to my new pretentious taste in music. Playing jazz is a not easy for somebody whose fingers are unfamiliar with it. Fundamentally, everything is different. It’s based on the blues scales. A C scale on the pervasive scale is played much differently than a C scale on the blues. “C, D, E, F, G, A, B, C” compared to “C, Eb, F, F#, G, Bb, C”. My piano teacher is very much a classical pianist, adding to the challenge. Still, I am learning.

I reread The Perks of Being a Wallflower for the third or fourth time. Something about reading it in the fall makes me nostalgic for experiences I have never experienced. I am going to be reading The Bell Jar next and then call it quits on fiction for a while. Non-fiction books are where its really at for me. Other than assigned reading, I didn’t really start reading fiction for fun until my sophomore year in college. The only reason I did that was to impress a girl, basically, and have common ground with conversation (I failed in the long run…oops!).

Classes are going surprisingly well this semester. My hardest class in an upper level class on the civil war and reconstruction with Dr. Clampitt. It is also the class I have learned the most in and enjoy the most. I have great attendance in the class and will likely come out with the hardest-fought A I have ever earned while in college. I have read so much for that class. It’s worth it though. For Dr. Cowger’s contemporary American history class, I read a 400 page book in a single night/morning. I started it at about three thirty in the morning and had a test over it at eleven. I had to skip my dance class in order to get it finished. I somehow remember very clearly the details of that book. As Murphy intended, the test was ridiculously easy. The book was an autobiography of a woman named Ann Moody, a black girl who grew up in the south during the 40’s and 50’s. The question for the book was, “what was life like for African Americans in the South during the time of this book?” Having passed fifth grade history, I could have answered that question without reading the book. Other than becoming the handicapped lord of the dance, all of my other classes are pretty dull. I did my hours this morning I realized I have almost enough hours in sociology for two degrees in that nonsense. I need fifteen hours of required classes (intro, social problems, stats, methods, theory) and fifteen hours of general sociology classes. I will have twenty seven hours of general sociology classes at the end of this semester. I should probably have kept up with this better. I would definitely been out of here by now.

The new car smell is finally wearing off of my job at the library. Make no mistake about it, the library itself smells like a combination of cigarettes and shame. I have to shelf the busiest sections in the library. This takes up a large portion of my shift on short days. I have become extremely efficient at doing it, however. Some days are better than others. My coworkers are wonderful to be around, most days. We get along really well and seem to have a natural “work rapport”. We all like to do certain things, or at least don’t mind doing certain tasks as much as others. I hate with a passion easy binding books. Fortunately, Durby has pretty much marked that as her territory. Just one example. Personally, I like all of the people I work with. I liked the doughnut shop partially because of how much I didn’t have to talk to my coworkers. Part of the reason was simply because we had so little in common. All of the part-time workers are college-age. I have to admit that it would be easy for working at the library to become an excuse to hang out with people whose company I enjoy. Fortunately I haven’t been too distracted.

The more and more I think about it, the more I love the idea of moving to Colorado after graduation. I do not want to go to graduate school for a while. Ideally, I would get a decent full-time job in Colorado Springs and go part-time once I have an established residence. This would mean I would not have to pay for out-of-state tuition. If I never go to graduate school, my hear will not be broken.

Socially, things are slow for me right now. It’s actually my own choice, and I am happy. New friendships are currently being cultivated, but I am equally, and honestly, happy coming home to my piano, internet, and music, and books. On Monday nights after sociology of aging (a night class) I have a beer and free bread at Papa G’s with Caleb and Nate. I am content with that.

My Halloween costume is two-fold This is because I’m seeing Rocky Horror Picture Show Friday night with Caleb and Johnna, and I am dressing like Brad since it is probably the easiest costume to pull off. The costume I am trying to pull off for school and work is a hipster. Nothing like making fun of an entire subculture that a lot of my friends belong to as a good costume. I have Wall’s to thank for most of it. I will be wearing a shirt that says, “I Support the Draft” for subtle irony (which hipsters live for), jeans that can only be described as ugly and nothing else, trendy shoes, a brown blazer in faux suede, a green scarf a friend made me, square glasses frame, an old man hat, and a copy of some obscure book hanging out of my back pocket. One of my coworkers also suggested some sort of sign that says something to the effect of, “I thought of this costume before it was cool”

I watched The Foreigner last week…twice. It was a very well-done play. It wasn’t the type of comedy you had to force yourself to laugh at; it was naturally funny on its own.

Everybody dance now!

For my dance dance revolution class, my group is charged with creating an aerobics routine. We decided on a “Cotton Eye Joe” remix aimed towards little kids. My idea of “Let’s get Physical” for little kids was quickly shot down.

Here is the breakdown of my “family” as Dr. Dansby calls it. It sounds a bit cultic. So there’s J-Master Funk, Jenna. Jenna is typically a bubbly, outgoing, assertive girl whose Type A (more like Type Gay amirite?) personality gets on my nerves. Somehow we’ve become fairly close friends over the past year, however. She has always had a bit of a sarcastic streak, but it really manifests itself once she’s caught in a situation she doesn’t like and has no control over. Aerobics is such a situation. She grumps around for the entire class, second-guessing why she ever took it in the first place, and damning everybody to a fiery pit of anti-dance. She laughs at everybody who looks ridiculous, while I guess overlooking herself in the mirror. She’s a hoot to aerobicize next to.

Secondly is Bailey. She’s a double major in art and dance. That’s basically a double major in “would you like fries with that?” and “no, sir, I won’t do that for that cheap.” She wants to dance professionally. I’m sure sure if getting paid in only one dollar bills makes you a professional or not. She’s seems to be a very sweet girl. She still has the idealism of a freshman, innocent expressions and comments—the kind of person you want to protect. I’m sure somebody does, anyways. She is always sure to aerobicize right next to Dr. Dansby at the front of the class. I don’t even think it’s to suck up; I think it’s because she likes the class so much that she doesn’t want to be sure to be within sweating distance of Dansby in order to make sure she doesn’t miss anything. Having her in our group is definitely a benefit.

Next is Kelly. Kelly is a guy. Kelly weights about 130 lbs.

Lastly is me, Rob the Dawg. I am awesome and will be teaching the class by the end of the semester. My favorite dance is The Raptor. The endz.

Oh, here is a picture of me breakdancing.

Rob dancing upon injustice

But I’m White!

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Tonight was the third time in about a month I have been “pulled over” while walking. Little did I know that something as innocuous as putting one foot in front of the other as a means of transportation makes you an international terrorist. Here’s the scenario…

It was about nine thirty this evening, and I was walking along the stretch of sidewalk that leads from 16^th St. to campus. It literally takes maybe five minutes to get to my house to campus, quick enough to stay out of the Johnny Law’s long reach around. The neighborhood consists of college kids, young families, and me, Rob, the guy who spits a loogey in the law’s all-seeing, all-knowing face with his deviant behavior. I had just passed 15^th st. when a cop speeds past me. I didn’t think anything of it until he dramatically screeches to a halt and doughnuts his way back around. Going around the block or turning around in somebody’s driveway would have given me too much time to make my daring escape. Yeah, maybe if I was riding on the back of Usain Bolt. So the cop makes a big Cops-esque scene to chase me down. Once he catches back up (I was ten feet away), he shined his Mcmassive light in my eyes. This was to kill me in case I was a vampire (vampyre for the 19^th century readers). With light still on me, he opens his car door and hikes up his pants.

Out of the car comes a five foot five tall man of super douche with small-man syndrome. He asks me for some identification. I reach for my wallet and hand it over with compliance. He looks at it and asks me where I was headed. I tell him, again, compliantly. As he starts to hand me back my id, I ask “I did nothing wrong, why did you ‘pull me over’?” (I used sarcasm quotes for real). “This is the third time this has happened in the past month, and I’m starting to think it’s arbitrary, targeted towards people who walk, and a violation of my civil liberties.” He sighed and pulled back his reach, along with my id. “Why I pulled you over is none of your concern, and I don’t appreciate being disrespected.” I bit back, “but it is my business! If I was in a car, you wouldn’t randomly pull me over without telling me. Do you have any idea how many upset drivers there would be? It’s nine thirty on a Wednesday night, and I am clearly headed towards campus. If I was driving to campus, it wouldn’t be a problem. And it’s a problem because you haven’t told me why we’re even in this situation, and you just asked for my identification. If I’ve given you probable cause to search me, you are more than welcome to take me ‘down town’ (sarcasm quotes) so you would have to submit to habeas corpus , but otherwise, I’d really appreciate it if you’d give me back my wallet.” The officer handed me back my wallet. “Sir, the only reason I’m not going to do anything about this is because I am in a hurry, but next time you need to be more respectful of an officer, and things will go more smoothly.” He walked off.

I acted inappropriately, maybe, but police officers have no right to have free reign like that. I did nothing wrong; it wasn’t even past the midnight curfew intended for the under-eighteen crowd. I would have been given back my wallet originally had I just kept my mouth shut, but it was the principle of having unwarranted searches and questions. The whole scenario was ludicrous. He both spoke politely to one another, and neither of our voices were raised. Allowing emotions to interfere with my words would have been a very bad idea.

I walked over the BSU to tell the tale of racially profiled white male…and watch U2’s ZooTv concert.

P.S. Hoped this helped, Tiffany.

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The summer break is over, and school is here. I don’t really want to linearly hash things that have passed since the last time I have posted, simply because it would be too tedious and hardly eventful. Just imagine I posted yesterday.

The summer can be personally defined as a religious struggle for me. It’s the way summers go—struggles, an in-between crossing point, a paradox from the school year. The last time I went through a funk this bad was the summer after my freshman year. This led to an angry diatribe in the form of a blog on Christianity as attacks from everywhere hit me. I almost abandoned my faith. I grew more that summer than any other time. And so on. This summer was more of the same. My own personal, sardonic motto of the summer was, “religion is the most clever invention of mankind.” And so on. I was so angry about so many things, and this manifested itself through every facet of my life in many simple ways. And then I got angry about how angry and jagged I had become. I began to hate Christianity while still believing that Jesus is the Son of God, that he became sin, and then rose from the dead for us and our salvation.

Then it stopped. Maybe it’s been the hundreds of miles on a bicycle, going to-and-fro on Highway 3, never ceasing to be amazed when the beauty of the scenery jumped out at me unexpectedly. Maybe that was it. Perhaps the hours walked through “downtown” Ada, even with people honking at how slow or inconvenient I am. I have seen God in so many small things. Romans 1:20, much? Noticing God through people, instead of noticing sin through people. Just learning to be thankful in all circumstances. Learning to ignore people, even close friends. Some of the people who hate judgment the most are the most condemning I have noticed. I would hate to think I was so fickle, able to oscillate back and forth based on mere circumstances.

And you know what, I have had to start over, anew, on a lot of things. My discipline in high school? It’s gone. Instead of just telling myself, “this is just a valley” I admitted to myself that I have changed so much from my chubby Rob days of extreme shyness and over-the-top analysis. So instead of trying to repeat who I was, it is time to be honest and try to understand who I am now, what I believe in now, and what I want. And so on.

I have done a lot of sinnin’ the summer…A LOT! And not just the conventional stuff, either; it’s the stuff that makes for good confession; the stuff nobody else knows about. Instead of feeling guilt, I feel conviction. This is a much better feeling.

I have also learned that big words, phrases, terms don’t impress me in the least. Anybody with internet access can wikipedia their way to genius. I had a conversation with Jacob just the other day blew my mind. He’s reading seminary-level books on philosophy and apologetics and make my brain ’splode. Understanding infinity or the lack thereof. He’s also incredibly humble and does not make decisions easily. He’s honest in what he says, his doubts, and so on.

And

So

On

Proper sidewalk etiquette

This is a repost from 2006, but with the new crop of students coming up, it’s important to constantly remind people of how consequential sidewalk etiquette is…

All ECU veterans are well aware that the sidewalks of campus are mean and unforgiving. All it could take is one gesture or look that’s interpreted as hostile and you could end up sidewalk fodder for the custodian to clean up. That is why it is necessary to have an official document explaining proper sidewalk etiquette to all new students. We want to ensure safety as you walk from building to building. Keep these rules in mind as you walk past people on the busy sidewalks.

Stare past/around/at feet: I do not know you, and do not want to appear creepy. Alternate: I know you, but you have hurt my feelings in the past. Alternate: I know you, but we’ve done something that would make us feel awkward (e.g. make out). Alternate: I know you too vaguely to make eye contact.

Eye contact: I recognize you.

Upward jerk of chin: I took a class with you, or have met you once in some other capacity, but that’s as far as our connection goes.

Downward nod of the head: We are on speaking terms, but I don’t have time to stop and speak with you right now.

One wave of hand, waist level: Same as downward nod. Alternate: Same as double wave of hand, chest level on a busy day.

Double wave of hand, chest level: You’re a friend of a friend who I enjoy hanging out with in a group of friends.

More than two waves, chest level: Notice me! I know you well or I at least want to know you well. Alternate: I’m socially retarded.

Verbal exchange, short: I feel the need to be polite with you. No need to offend you by ignoring. Alternate: We’ve met in the last couple of days, but during that time we’ve hung out for at least a moderate length of time. Alternate: We’re in a class together, and I’m making small talk as we walk to different classes. Alternate: We’re in a class together, and I’m making small talk as we walk to different classes; I would like to ask you on a date but don’t know you well enough yet to do so. Alternate: We’re in a class together, and I’m making small talk as we walk to different classes; I think that I’d like to be your friend.

Verbal exchange, long: You are my friend. Alternate: You’ve pissed me off. Alternate: We’re reconciling. Alternate: We’re in a class group together, and we need to coordinate something.

Hug: meaningless; ambiguous; females use it in any and all contexts.

Kiss, short: We’re dating or will soon be. Alternate: We’re close friends with a lot of history behind us.

Kiss, long (with or without tongue): We’re dating or will soon be. Alternate: We’re close friends with a lot of history behind us. A lot. Alternate: We’re more or less acting out our immature fantasy of what college should be, full of meaningless making out.

Standing side by side, holding hands, on a grassy area, under the shade of the trees, surrounded by smiling friends: I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

Trendy

Throughout the summer, I have had the opportunity to get to know people I have seen around campus, seen around The Perfect Blend, and seen around the church scene. Last semester, I labeled the people The Trendies, a play on their church, Trinity Baptist Church (Trinity=Trendy). These people always have a camera or some other piece of equipment around their neck, have a huge crush on Apple, and are trendy in the sense that they are anti-trendy. A lot of them have very strong opinions and are passionate about them, but a lot of times it’s been very “no duh” kinds of opinions. They speak their opinions through their t-shirts and facebook groups. My intuition about people is usually spot on by just getting to know somebody on surface level, and this caused me to generalize about an entire group of people. Some of my friends past and present have had a bitter taste in their mouth of the Trinity college group, causing further apprehension. Fortunately I have been able to get to know a few of the guys from the group just through laissez-faire conversation. I have found that they are quite amiable. More than that, they can be very engaging in good conversation. I like to ask a lot of questions, partially because it takes the pressure of conversation off of me (social psychology trick- always ask questions about the person and subtly stroke their ego by asking for their opinions) without them noticing. This is allowed me to gain better clarity and understanding.

Jared is probably one of the humblest individuals I have met, yet he still believes he is arrogant. He is what I call a popular nerd. He knows when “comic book day” (the day new comics come in) is at the local store, for example, and has a crush on Stan Lee. He is very well read and always takes people seriously and treats them with respect. He doesn’t bull crap around or walk with an undeserved sense of entitlement. It might be because I don’t know him very well, but when things don’t go his way, his disposition remains sunny. He doesn’t have the funds for graduate school at the moment, for example, and other than “being bummed”, he seems to understand that at this moment and time, he still have a great purpose in his life.

His brother, Garret, is somebody I only talk to on occasion. He is very opposite of Jared in a lot of ways. He hates to read, and looks like the kind of guy that is about to go the beach with a lady on each arm. He tends to talk a lot and has a certain charm about him. At first this makes him appear fake and self-centered, but this is far from the truth. He cares very deeply for other people and is surprisingly idealistic, though I don’t think he even picks up on it. He is also a pretty humble guy but isn’t afraid to speak up whenever his morals have been violated.

Jesse is my house mate whom I have known since freshman year. We’ve always gotten along pretty well without having much in common. His faith has a big effect on him. He grew up in a very Christian home, his father a music minister. When a lot of people get burnt out, Jesse remains steadfast. People tend to see him as a little uptight and a little too set in his ways. I think this is because he is always on the move with some idea or goal, either personally or for an organization he is working with. He also has good taste in beer.

Lastly, there’s the head cheese in charge of the college ministry, Chris. I have heard nothing but horrible things about him from his “rivals” since I was a freshman. I have heard that his sermons are shallow and devoid of theological thought. He is arrogant and unwilling to work with anybody and will automatically resist anybody who contradicts him. I will admit, the man has a very strong personality. It is easy to see why people think he is full of himself, but it is a stretch to say arrogant. If he doesn’t know something, he is willing to ask, and will even ask for opinions on a subject. He has been very helpful to me when discussing bikes (he is a former triathlete). He is not a very typical Southern Baptist minister. Though he didn’t use the terminology, he was talking like a partial preterist the other day. He also has Calvinist sympathies. His crushes include N.T. Wright and John Macarthur. He is quite the visionary. Once he has an idea in his mind, he works it until completion. He set up a very affective council/ministry team. He utilizes their individual personalities and gifts to the advantage of getting what is needed done. His weapon of choice might just be sarcasm, but it’s hard to say. He has said things that were either snide comments or completely harmless. I tend to think the latter because he is usually so direct about things.

Trinity will be one of the churches I hop to after school starts. They have a service called The Ten that will start the Sunday before class beings. It will meet at The Source. Jared is thinking about adding elements of liturgy to it, which interests me even more.

Wanted: new church, must be house broken

This Sunday will the the first of many church-hopping experiences.

First Presbyterian is a great church; the people are warm and welcoming, there is a sense of genuineness and earnestness, and in my experience they don’t let the politics of the outside world or even the greater denomination influence the decisions or cause divides. On top of that, it is a church that matches fairly closely to my theological beliefs. With that said, it is a church that reaches a certain population, a population I am not apart of. I am talking about the over fifty WASPy crowd of well-educated, wealthy families. I started going to First Presbyterian on my own, with no family members already attending and Thomas and Roz the only people I really knew. The congregation is a friendly one, so they made wonderful attempts to make me feel welcome. Feeling welcome has never been a problem with the church; a person would have to try very hard to feel genuinely unwelcome at that church. For me, it was that I have never felt apart of the community as a whole because I had so little to relate to them. Listening to their conversations over lunches and meetings were often thought-provoking and well-spoken, but I never could really get my foot in the door.

This has made me really rethink my priorities in looking for a church. My number one reason for leaving First Baptist for First Presbyterian four years ago were strictly theological. I was apart of the church community, but my conscience wouldn’t allow me stay content with all the disagreements I had. It took a sharp turn when Pat came in because not only were we in immediate disagreement, but he was very outspoken (not directed at me of course) against a number of my theological convictions. I was involved in a number of ministries, but one Sunday I just stopped altogether without notice. It was not on bad terms. The sociology of religions stats I have read say that community is the number one reason for attending one church over another, with theological being pretty far down on the list. I defied this initially, but now understand it a lot better. Aside from the basic, orthodox tenets of historical Christianity, theology tends to be so abstract that it has very little practical application. I do tend to see the Bible through different lenses that my Arminian friends, but the application doesn’t really espouse any differences in actual church services, save for the occasional sermons that touch on it. Infant baptism is the most practical theological difference between Baptist Bob and Presbyterian Pete. Due to the typical socio-economical differences between the two, real-world differences to appear, such as politics, however. Due to the abstract nature of this theology, it mostly something that refers to the historical roots of a denomination or arguing points between friends and academics (which I still absolutely love).

This is what I am looking for in a church:
1. Historical Christian orthodoxy
2. Community I can relate to
3. Everything else

When I say community, I do not meet junior high meet-and-greet; I mean strong Christian community that can dive into doctrine on its own. I think church should start with the community, or else there wouldn’t be a church. There are about eighty churches in small-town Ada. There will be some churches that will automatically be weeded out, but there are still plenty of churches that meet this criteria. A strong college-age ministry is what I will be looking at most closely. The circuit of Baptist churches are an easy start, but I really do not want to get warn out with always having to be on the defensive about my theological beliefs. There is also the fact that I have a certain world view that may be described as liberal. If people can just live and let live in church and then argue with me on our own time, I’d be content. I also want to check out the Episcopalian church. It’s an old church, I think, but Anglican services are fun. There’s plenty of non-denom churches around, but I would like to steer clear of charismatic churches if possible. My Stratford Miracle Outpouring experience has caused me to become just a little bit bitter at charismatic shenanigans. Here are my beliefs (dug up from 2004):

Soteriology: Five-point, supralapsarian (though an unimportant detail) Calvinist.
Eschatology: Amillenial, partial-preterist
Ecclesiastical Structure (denominational structure): Surprisingly, I like Southern Baptist’s autonomy, but I think it’s important to have denominational accountability.
Church Government (local body): Elders and deacons. Not only do I think it’s biblical, I think it’s practical because it doesn’t allow power to be too centralized on one person.
Baptism: This is one issue I oscillate on. The idea of pedobaptism (infant) makes sense with covenant theology in mind, but it lacks a lot of New Testament support that credobaptism (believer) has.
Gifts of the Spirit: non-cessationalist, but I am very very very skeptical of 99% of the claims of gifts. Ministry gifts seem unnecessary when the Bible has become God’s main source of revelation.
Christian involvement in politics (Theonomy): Not a fan of theonomy, and I like separation of church and state, but it makes sense for Christians to vote their morals.
Inerrancy: God hasn’t left us wanting for his word. Inerrant in original language.
Method of Biblical interpretation: Grammatico-historical and Christ-centered (especially OT)
Baptism of the Holy Spirit: Save for the special circumstances in Acts, upon regeneration.
Dispensationalist, Covenant Theology, New Covenant Theology, Kingdom Theology, or something else?: Covenant
This screams conservative Presbyterian, Reformed Baptist, or some other reformed non-denom church, but my options are limited.

Who you gonna call?

I think my next door neighbors are witches. Witches of the worst kind, I might add—Harry-Potter-inspired witches. The two conversations I have had with them somehow involved Wicca and Harry Potter, and how they are persecuted for liking both. Being into Wicca is like balls awesome when you’re thirteen and just got out of the Pokemon phase, but being thirty and being into Wicca is the female equivalent of two thirty year old men arguing over who shot first, Han or Greedo? There I go, persecuting both Wiccans and Star Wars fans. Listen, I’d like nothing more than to use the Avada Kedavra killing curse when somebody comes to steal my pogs, but doing so would sentence me to a lifetime at Azkaban. My neighbors sure do reflect a life that is conducive to witchcraft and other forms of debauchery. My bed is next to the window that faces their house. Just last night I had a hard time falling asleep due to the sound of “uhn tiss uhn tiss” at one o’clock in the morning, probably summoning ghosts and ancestral spirits. I’m going to call Ghost Busters if they don’t knock it off. And then the cats…

There is a surplus of cats in the neighborhood, many originating from this witch-infested house. Darwin’s theory of survival of the fittest slaps them in the face, fortunately. For every cat, there is at least one ten year old boy who hates anything smaller and weaker than himself. Armed with rocks, bb-guns, and weapons of mass destruction (still unable to find them but my intelligence informs me they exist…), they go Darwin crazy to thin out the populations. One poor feline is armed with a ubiquitous stench that covers the neighborhood—for defensive reasons I suppose—one good eye since two is overdoing it, and what looks like oversized-cancer-ridden testicles. Not that I am checking out the local cat studs; they are just very apparent as this poor beast loiters in my driveway. The neighbor kids are sure to torture him at every possible moment. I do not like cats, but this cat looks like he was forced to take on the hatred of all cats himself. He is suffering so every other cat can live.

I was finally able to watch The Dark Knight last night after two weeks of failed attempts. When the X-Files came out, the manager put it in the largest theater, while putting The Dark Knight into the smallest. This rained on my Saturday matinée plans, causing it to sell out by the time Scott and I got there. Other than Christian Bale’s voice sounding like it was possessed by Satan with emphysema, the movie was everything I expected it to be. Everybody praised Keith Ledger for his acting job, and with good reason, but he couldn’t have done the job without the writing that went along with it. They made his character so complex. There is society, and then there is The Joker as the antithesis. He is the textbook definition of a sociopath (lacking of a conscience, no ability for empathy or love, compulsive liar, manipulative, etc…). He wasn’t just a crazy man on a mission of destruction; he used destruction as a means to show the hypocrisy in society. It eventually failed with the boat scene, but that’s when he turned into just a crazy man on a mission of destruction.

Movies, books, and other things that make me a nerd

I somehow get sucked into watching the worst movies with D.J. There’s no explanation; I know they’re going to be bad, but I forget about this while standing in line and then sitting through the previews. My mind is tricked by the movie magic, causing me to forget why I never desired to see the movie in the first place. It usually take about five minutes into it for me to remember. They are usually movies that are the lowest of the lows, parody movies. Such cinematic behemoths like Remember the Spartans and The Comebacks have passed through my pupils in attack formation to lay waste to the occipital lobe portion of my brain with their message of mass destruction. Last night’s movie of choice was Step Brothers, the tale of the legitimate actor Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly, who paradoxically looks like both an adult baby and a ninety-year old with a really wrinkly face, who supersede failure-to-launch syndrome with failure-to-have-the-mental-capacity-of-anybody-over-seven syndrome. Seriously, I understand that it’s a movie but the two, who play forty-year old men, could be mistaken for individuals with down syndrome. The jokes in the first fifteen minutes of the movies lasted throughout the rest of the movie. It was an R-rated movie, but the general manager selling the tickets somehow let people that look like this guy in:

Seriously, he can’t be a day over fifteen. After D.J. and I sat down, the herds of pale, pubescent beasts started roaming to their seats. At least some people thought the movie was funny. By the last half of the movie, D.J. and I didn’t even chuckle. D.J. blurt out the occasional, skeptical “what??” while I wondered why Will Ferrell doesn’t do more movies like Stranger than Fiction.

I started Dracula yesterday. It’s said that first impressions are very important when meeting new people; the same is true for books. There have been books with horrible first chapters that either leave a bad taste in my mouth for the rest of the book or lead me to believe there is no redemption, causing me to put it away. There have also been books with excellent first chapters that can make the rest of the book better than it actually is. This is why I believe every book, no matter the book, should start out with a joke as the first chapter. The Bible got this part right. I’m kidding—please don’t strike me down Lord! Anyways, regardless how bad the book is, if it can trick your mind into only remembering the joke in the first book, you will walk away thinking “that wasn’t a bad read.” Dracula is the former of the two kinds of books I mentioned. The first chapter was about fifteen pages of description about hero Jonathan Harker’s journey to the Count’s castle. It tried to set the tone and foreshadow the evil that was to come, but it really failed to do so. What was said in fifteen pages could have been said in two. What is impressive about that chapter, and the entire book, is how well detailed Stoker is about the geography and even the dates and times of the trains’ schedules. He paints a brilliant image of the Transylvania region of Romania: the Carpathian Mountains, the diverse people groups that inhabit it (the Count is of Székely ancestry), the rivers, and the lush forests. The juxtaposition to real life is pretty accurate. It took a few chapters for me to warm up to the story a bit more. I know the basic plot of the book, but after reading Nuzum’s book, I became enthusiastic about reading it for the details. The language is a little archaic which is astounding since it’s only been about 110 years since it was published, but it’s pretty easy to follow, though I did find myself not paying attention during some of the long descriptions of details I saw as superfluous and minute. Some of the themes that were taboo for the Victorian era are already starting to emerge in the early chapters, specifically homosexuality and sexual repression in general. They are very subtle and not preachy and could probably be completely overlooked. I originally planned on reading the book over the course of two week, two chapters a day, but since the story has become more interesting, I might pick up the pace a bit. I don’t want to rush it though.

I also got Lewis Black’s Me of Little Faith yesterday at Hastings. It was priced at $23 but was on sale I guess. I got it at a $1 copy of Dorian Gray for under $20. The Lewis Black book came out in June and is hardback, making me apprehensive since I am trying to save money. My C.S. Lewis book came in at the Good Book Store, causing me to shell out another $15. I would have spent the money eventually so it was good to get out of the way when I could comfortably afford it. The Lewis Black book will give me some chuckles as a tread through Dracula, but I want to read the C.S. Lewis book on its own. It’s Out of the Silent Planet, book one in his space trilogy. I have been wanting to read it for some time but could not find a used copy of it. I gave in and ordered it new.

Lee and Miranda are having a shindig tonight at their house. This is the first time I can remember them opening up their home to “the general public”. I really like them as a couple and enjoy spending time with them. They have struck a balance between doing married people stuff while still finding time to hang out with their loser, single friends; I mean actually hanging out and not just keeping to themselves while in a group of people.

I think my life is a B movie

I locked myself out of my house in a sleepy daze earlier. After going back to sleep for a few hours after work, I woke up at fifteen ’till one. I ate a large bowl of cereal and made my rounds on teh internets. I gathered my laptop and book, The Dead Travel Fast and walked to the coffee shop. It wasn’t until about an hour later when I was walking back up to my house that I reached in my pocket to find my cell phone, a bit of string, but no jingle jangle of my keys. In vain, I turned the doorknob hoping I also forgot to lock it. I didn’t. Meh, I walked to the ECU library hoping they had a Lewis Black book and noticed Abi was working. We exchanged a quick conversation before leaving empty-handed. I walked back to coffee shop, where I am sitting three feet from Jonathon while listening to him play Stick Sniper on his laptop. I’ll walk to the music store and get Purd’s key after writing this. This is only the third or fourth time I’ve locked myself out.

I watched Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter with Caleb last night. This idea was brought about from reading the above The Dead Travel Fast. It’s a pop culture book on vampires. It’s absolutely hilarious how dedicated the author Eric Nuzum is to learning about vampire subculture. He goes goes to several “meetings” with several “vampire” groups (delusional adults that probably have obscure Chinese-character tattoos with no meaning). He goes on vampire tours, talks about the history of vampires, the history Vlad Dracula, is basically an expert on Bram Stoker’s Dracula, travels to England to trace Stoker’s footsteps, and goes so far to even go on a Dracula tour in Romania. On of his side quests in the book is to watch all six-hundred and something movies about vampires. This is when he mentions Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter. This is how he describes it:

“It’s a kung fu action movie focusing on Jesus’ Second Coming where he battles a vampire cult for control of the earth. Featuring the taglines: “the first testament says ‘and eye for an eye.’— The second testament says ‘love they neighbor.’—The third testament…KICKS ASS!!!!” and “The Power of Christ Impales You.” When Jesus gets into trouble with the vampire, none other than masked Mexican wrestling legend El Santo shows up to cover his back. And by the way, it’s a musical. “

I quickly found it on the internet for download and watched it with Caleb last night. For me, the best part all the unintentional, non-sequitur humor involved. The plot develops in a completely irrelevant manner, adding to the grandeur. The movie starts out with the strange disappearances of women (all of whom are lesbians) who are turned into day-walking vampires. When a few of the priests notice this, they summon non other than Jesus to save the day. The kung fuery commences with Jesus, Mary Magnum (who later turns into a vampire) and El Santo try to learn the source of the evil, lesbian vampires and then stop them. The sound effects were great, the fight scenes were incredibly cheesy, and the dialogue hardly made sense. They did their own original score, which features such lyrics as “it’s okay, it’s alright, everybody gonna get laid tonight”. The end of the movie was a little bit tainted because it became really preachy about how the Christian church should accept everybody, even lesbians. Still, A+ movie.

Jenna and I at lunch at Oscars yesterday. I ate a $3 meal, consisting of a fried rice and hot and sour soup. Oscars has the ability to make fried rice the densest material in the universe, especially when you get it to go. They pack a box no bigger than six inches tall and three inches thick to weight about ten pounds. For the $1.35 you pay, you can eat fried rice for the rest of the day. Jenna has a jones for their egg roles, saying they’re the best egg roles in town next to Jack in the Box. I convinced her to go to the public library so I can check out Dracula. Nuzum takes a few poignant jabs at those tho are reading his book yet have not read Dracula. Jenna was so amazed with the idea of “renting” books that she got a library card. I have no doubt in my mind that she might one day use it to check out a children’s book. This is not an insult at her; she really likes the same children’s books my three-year old niece, Abbey, likes. She also was amazed at their collection on dvds. What was going to be a five minute visit to the library turned into a thirty minute visit. Carissa was working so we shot the bull with her for a bit. She criticized my book selection (I was not surprised) as being possibly demoniacally-inspired. This fine, objective literary critique based on the name and a few of the black-and-white illustrations found within the book. Meh, I was not really offended; it’s Carissa, and she’s just really sensitive to certain things she sees as threats to Christendom. Dracula joins the list alongside Harry Potter and The Communist Manifesto. I haven’t seen her in a long time, and it was nice to have a conversation with her (not being sarcastic). I told one of her co-workers, Chris, about the movie choice for the evening. He was a bit jealous, having heard about its standing as a cult classic. He also echoed a lot of Dracula’s history for me. Chris is an English major of epic proportions and what seems to be a really cool guy. I have only had conversations here and there with him, usually about books and movies, but it’s always a pleasure.

Caleb already has Spring break planned out. It will be a trip to Las Vegas and Washington. The Las Vegas portion will be the bulk of the trip, while the Washington potion will be for Mike’s wedding. For six people, Caleb came up with a price of $850 minus the cost of shows and food. Since I have eight months to raise the funds, getting the money shouldn’t be a problem. Caleb is very enthusiastic about it. Having never been to Vegas, I imagine I will be too once it gets closer.