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The summer break is over, and school is here. I don’t really want to linearly hash things that have passed since the last time I have posted, simply because it would be too tedious and hardly eventful. Just imagine I posted yesterday.

The summer can be personally defined as a religious struggle for me. It’s the way summers go—struggles, an in-between crossing point, a paradox from the school year. The last time I went through a funk this bad was the summer after my freshman year. This led to an angry diatribe in the form of a blog on Christianity as attacks from everywhere hit me. I almost abandoned my faith. I grew more that summer than any other time. And so on. This summer was more of the same. My own personal, sardonic motto of the summer was, “religion is the most clever invention of mankind.” And so on. I was so angry about so many things, and this manifested itself through every facet of my life in many simple ways. And then I got angry about how angry and jagged I had become. I began to hate Christianity while still believing that Jesus is the Son of God, that he became sin, and then rose from the dead for us and our salvation.

Then it stopped. Maybe it’s been the hundreds of miles on a bicycle, going to-and-fro on Highway 3, never ceasing to be amazed when the beauty of the scenery jumped out at me unexpectedly. Maybe that was it. Perhaps the hours walked through “downtown” Ada, even with people honking at how slow or inconvenient I am. I have seen God in so many small things. Romans 1:20, much? Noticing God through people, instead of noticing sin through people. Just learning to be thankful in all circumstances. Learning to ignore people, even close friends. Some of the people who hate judgment the most are the most condemning I have noticed. I would hate to think I was so fickle, able to oscillate back and forth based on mere circumstances.

And you know what, I have had to start over, anew, on a lot of things. My discipline in high school? It’s gone. Instead of just telling myself, “this is just a valley” I admitted to myself that I have changed so much from my chubby Rob days of extreme shyness and over-the-top analysis. So instead of trying to repeat who I was, it is time to be honest and try to understand who I am now, what I believe in now, and what I want. And so on.

I have done a lot of sinnin’ the summer…A LOT! And not just the conventional stuff, either; it’s the stuff that makes for good confession; the stuff nobody else knows about. Instead of feeling guilt, I feel conviction. This is a much better feeling.

I have also learned that big words, phrases, terms don’t impress me in the least. Anybody with internet access can wikipedia their way to genius. I had a conversation with Jacob just the other day blew my mind. He’s reading seminary-level books on philosophy and apologetics and make my brain ’splode. Understanding infinity or the lack thereof. He’s also incredibly humble and does not make decisions easily. He’s honest in what he says, his doubts, and so on.

And

So

On